Safe and Consensual Sex is Great Sex

If you are one of the many women who want to have sex without getting pregnant but don’t want to use the hormonal options, then this blog is for you.

Just like all other medications, the hormones in prescription birth control comes with  side effects and serious risk.

Side effects include weight gain and risk include deep vein thrombosis which can potentially cause a stroke or even death.

Furthermore, if you are a woman who have an occasional hook up and is not a steady relationship, to you it might not make sense to explore hormonal birth control if you only have sex once in while.  Furthermore, you also want to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

If you are one of the millions of women (and men) who have never been given the sex talk, then you might feel pretty nervous about your first time. This is a natural feeling of course, and in time you will become more comfortable with the idea of sex and most importantly, how to protect yourself?

But sex isn’t just about the physical act or even the emotional aspect. You must understand that while sex is a beautifulul and natural act, there are some risks you take the minute you start having sex. That’s right: pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STD)s. The purpose of this article is to inform you about these risks, and what you can ultimately do to prevent them and have a wonderful sex life going forward. After all, safe sex is great sex.

We will be looking at a variety of non-prescription birth control and protection methods such as condoms, diaphragms, sponges and spermicide, how they are used and the pros and cons of each. But before we do that, let’s explain what birth control entails.

What is birth control?

Birth control, otherwise known as contraception is any method a woman uses to protect herself from becoming pregnant during sexual intercourse. Birth control is not limited to women however, as some birth control methods are exclusive to men, such as male condoms and vasectomy/sterilization.

These birth control methods either protect against pregnancy only or both pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). Some are reversible such as Intrauterine Devices (IUD) and hormonal methods such as “the shot” or “the pill” which are either injected or ingested respectively, while others are permanent such as sterilization, otherwise known as tubal ligation in women and vasectomy in men. Permanent birth control methods are effective immediately and the risk of pregnancy falls to 0%. However, these methods only prevent unwanted pregnancies, and not STD.

Other birth control methods, such as the barrier methods are for one-time use and includes the diaphragm, male and female condoms, sponge and spermicides. The condom is currently the only birth control method which protects against both pregnancy and disease.

In the event where no birth control method is used during sex, there are emergency contraceptive methods that can stop pregnancy such as the Copper IUD and the “morning-after pill”. These may prevent pregnancy, but not a STD.

Condoms (male)

Effectiveness: 85-98%

Male condoms are one of the cheapest forms of birth control on the market today and is considered a physical barrier from STDs and pregnancy. Condoms are thin, fitted tubes with one closed end made primarily of latex and polyurethane that are placed over the penis during sexual intercourse. This tube collects fluids ejected from the penis during any sexual act and protects the penis from vaginal fluids and saliva. This, in turn, prevents sperm from reaching the egg, and fluid exchange or skin-to-skin contact that can cause STDS. Of all the birth control options that will be mention, condom is the one and only way to prevent transmission of STDs. Even if you decide to go on the pill, get a shot, use a patch insert, a ring or place a IUD, condom when it comes to STD prevention, condom is your best option.

Pros and cons:

Pros:

• Protects against unwanted pregnancies and STDs
• Affordable
• Easily accessible
• No wait time
• Rare side effects

Cons:

• Can cause an allergic reaction for persons allergic to latex
• Can tear if not used properly
• Barrier method reduces sensitivity for both men and women
• Can interrupt the mood
• The man has to pull out immediately after ejaculation to prevent the semen from releasing into the vagina when he becomes “soft”

How to use a male condom

Have you ever heard those “pinch, leave an inch and roll” commercials? Well, that is the basics of using the male condom.

The first thing you should do is to make sure the condom is the right size. If it is too big, it will fall off during sex. If it is too small, it is likely to tear and will feel uncomfortable for the man. An old trick is to insert your erect penis into a toilet paper roll. If there is a lot of extra room, you’re a small, if it is just right, then you’re a small and if it is too tight or doesn’t fit, then you’re a large. The best way, however, is to use a measuring tape. All you have to do is measure the length and width then compare your measurements to the many charts available online. While this is not a fool-proof method, it is the best method there is today.

Once the size is out of the way, you can go ahead and purchase your condom. Ensure that you are careful when pulling the packet because you wouldn’t want your teeth or fingernails to puncture the condom. Once it is out, place the open end over the tip of the penis, then, squeeze/pinch the top of the condom to release air and leave ample space for your semen to be collected. Then all you have to do is roll it down the length of your penis and you’re good to go.

After sex, hold the base of your penis while pulling it off at the tip in one swift, but careful motion. DO NOT TRY TO ROLL IT BACK DOWN. Discard in a bin and not the toilet, and be sure to wash your hands before touching your penis. Do not reuse condoms if you plan to have sex again.

Tips

• If you wish to use lubricant with your condom, make sure it is compatible with the type of condom you are using. For instance, latex condoms are incompatible with oil-based lubricants as they cause damage and may result in splitting during sex.
• Do not double up condoms because this increases the chances of tears.
• Do not use expired condoms

Female condoms (internal condoms)

Effectiveness: 79%-95%

Female condoms, or femidoms, are similar to male condoms, however, these are worn inside of the vagina to prevent semen from getting into the cervix. They are made of the same or similar materials as male condoms and protect against pregnancy and STDs.

Pros and cons

Pros:

• Protect against unwanted pregnancy and STDs
• No serious health effects
• Allows a woman to take protection into her own hands
• Doesn’t affect fertility for the man or woman

Cons:

• Not as readily available as male condoms
• More expensive than male condoms
• Not a good option for women who are uncomfortable with touching the insides of her genitals
• Takes longer to put on than a male condom and can ruin the mood

How to use a female condom

The first thing you should know about female condoms is that they can be inserted up to 8 hours before use. They are usually one size fits all, but some companies have created a small and a large size for virgins and young women, and women who are older or have given birth.

When pulling the condom packet, be careful. Do not use your fingernail or any sharp object which can puncture the condom. When open, find a comfortable position, or one you would use to insert a tampon. Next, squeeze the smaller, closed-end and insert it into your vagina. Leave about an inch of the wide end hanging out, and ensure it covers the entrance of your vagina.

When your partner inserts his penis, make sure that it goes inside of the condom and not at the sides between the condom and your vagina. Once inside, you are good to go.

When you are finished with the condom, twist the end that is hanging out and pull the condom out of your vagina before you stand up. Tie the top and dispose of in a garbage bin.

Tips

• Do not use a female condom with a male condom. This can cause too much friction and one or both of the condoms may tear
• Do not use after the expiration date
• Stop sex if you feel the outer ring being pushed further inside of the vagina.

Diaphragm (cap)

Effectiveness: 92-96%

The contraceptive diaphragm, or cap, is a circular, silicone dome that is inserted into the vagina before sex to prevent pregnancy. This cap covers the cervix so that sperm will not be able to enter the uterus. It is used along with spermicide, a type of gel which slows down sperm and can be used for more than one rounds.

Pros and cons

Pros:

• Can be inserted before sex
• Gives a woman control of her protection against pregnancy
• If used correctly, your partner won’t be able to feel it
• It will not mess up your body’s hormones
• No serious health risks

Cons:

• Does not protect against STDs
• It can be pushed out of place during rough sex
• You will have to visit a doctor to choose the right size
• You will have to reapply spermicide every time you have sex
• It can be messy to insert
• You will have to leave it in for at least 6 hours after sex

How to use a diaphragm

Before you purchase a diaphragm, you will have to visit your gynecologist to determine the right size and to learn how to insert it. Once that is out of the way, and you receive your diaphragm, you will have to get into a comfortable position to insert it. This can be a squat, one leg up, or with your legs open on a bed.

With clean hands, fill a third of the cap with spermicide. Ensure that you don’t get any on the sides because this can make it slippery and cause it to shift out of the right position. Next, squeeze the rim of the diaphragm or cap between your thumb and your first two fingers, and insert it into your vagina. Move it upwards until you reach your cervix. Note that the part with the spermicide should be touching your cervix, and will feel like the tip of your nose once it is securely in place.

Afterward, add extra spermicide, or lube with spermicide to your vagina for extra protection. When you are finished having sex, leave it inside for at least 6 hours (but no longer than 30 hours). Once the waiting period is over, remove the diaphragm by hooking your finger under its rim, loop or strap and gently pull it out.

Once out, wash your diaphragm with clean warm, soapy water. You should clean your hands with antibacterial soap. When finished, store in its container or a cool, dry place for later use.

Tips

• Never boil your diaphragm as this can cause damage
• Check your diaphragm for tears or holes before using it. To do this, all you have to do is fill it with water to see if there are any leaks
• Read care instructions properly, and avoid any detergents or oil-based lubricants which can damage your diaphragm

Sponges

Effectiveness: 76-88%

The birth control sponge, or simply “the sponge” is a soft, small sponge made of a special type of plastic which covers the cervix during sexual intercourse. It is used alongside with spermicide to block sperm from passing the cervix and entering the uterus, while also killing any sperm that comes in contact with it.

Pros and cons

Pros:

• Can prevent pregnancy
• It can be inserted up to a day before sex
• It can be used as needed
• It doesn’t cause hormonal imbalances
• It can be used repeatedly before removal

Cons:

• Does not protect against diseases
• It can cause infections and even Toxic Shock Syndrome
• Removal can result in pieces of the sponge fragmenting and being left behind in the vagina
• Is less effective if you have already given birth

How to use a contraceptive sponge

Using a contraceptive sponge will take some getting used to, but once you get the hang of it, it will become easy.

The first thing you need to do after purchasing your sponge is to wash your hands. Next, wet your sponge with water and squeeze it to activate the spermicide. The sponge should not be dripping wet and should be sudsy before you insert it.

Get into a comfortable position and fold then insert the sponge as deeply as you can inside of your vagina. If your sponge has a loop at the end, this loop should be facing your entrance. Once inside, it should unfold and cover your cervix. Insert your finger and make sure it is covered, and adjust if necessary.

You will have to wait for at least 6 hours after having sex to remove it. To remove the sponge, all you have to do is cleanse your hands and insert your finger to latch onto the loop. If it has no loop, use two fingers and in a scissor-like manner, grab onto the sponge and pull it out. Do not reuse the sponge or flush it down a toilet. It should be thrown away in a bin.

Tips:

• Do not leave the sponge inside of you for more than 30 hours
• To improve the effectiveness of the sponge, ask your partner to pull out before he ejaculates
• It is not the best birth control method to use if you have given birth as its effectiveness will decrease significantly.

Spermicide

Effectiveness: 72-82% (when used alone)

Spermicide can come in different forms, but essentially, it is a type of gel, foam, or cream that is inserted into the vagina before sex to prevent pregnancy. When inserted, it blocks the cervix so that sperm cannot get into the uterus, and slows them down so that they won’t be able to swim to the egg.

Spermicide can be used on its own and is pretty effective, but when used alongside other contraceptives such as the diaphragm or condoms, it increases their effectiveness.

Pros and cons:

Pros:

• It will not interrupt the mood since it can be inserted before sex
• Inexpensive
• More private than walking around with condoms
• Relatively inexpensive
• Does not require a doctor’s visit

Cons:

• Does not protect against STDs
• Not as effective for preventing pregnancy as other birth control methods
• Can cause irritation

How to use spermicide

To learn how to use spermicide, all you have to do is follow the instructions on the packaging.

First, you will need to ensure that your hands are clean. Next, get into a comfortable position and spread some onto your fingers. (If it comes with an applicator, insert the applicator and squeeze.) And that’s it!

Tips:

• Insert the spermicide at least 15 minutes before sex, but do not wait for more than an hour to have sex.
• Reapply every time you are going to have sex

 

Takeaway

There are many non-prescription birth control and protection methods that you can use that are reversible and won’t affect your hormones or many negative side effects. The ones mentioned here can be used by persons of all ages and are simple and easy to come by and use.

When choosing a birth control method, think carefully about you are your partner’s needs, along with their effectiveness. This will help you to choose the perfect one and will allow you to enjoy sex without having the risk of pregnancy and/or STDs in the back of your mind.